Friday 11 May 2012

History sometimes repeats itself...

...a tale of God's faithfulness and my forgetfulness...



I was sat in my home church a few weeks ago, where I’ve sat for many of the formative years of my life, for the 7pm service. The leader of the service gave us an opportunity to share testimony of things God had been doing in our lives, particularly related to the recent sermon series on spiritual gifts. Having spent the entire sermon series up in Edinburgh, I was happy to sit this one out. Unsurprisingly, God was not. 

I felt a little prod, somewhere around my gut, and I knew I should probably go up to the front to share something. The thing was, at that moment I didn’t really know what it would be. I asked God if there was something he wanted me to share, and I had a sudden flashback. Probably five years ago almost to the day, I was sat in that very spot. I was just finishing off my A Levels at school and had received a rejection from the final university I had applied to – Edinburgh. Rather than feeling upset or angry about this, I had a strange sense of peace about it. That Sunday evening five years ago in a setting not dissimilar, I had felt God prompt me to share this at the front during a testimony time. The words I said up there were not profound, but they had a powerful impact on the course of the following year and consequently, without sounding too dramatic, the rest of my life. I shared with the congregation that I found myself at a loss for what to do and that my intended path to university was, for the time being, postponed. I was excited at the opportunities ahead of me for the coming year and dreamt of travelling to Africa or New Zealand. As the service ended the vicar suggested the possibility of an internship for the year. The rest, as they say, is history… I accepted the offer and worked as an intern in my home church for a year. Once the year was completed I headed to Edinburgh to begin my studies, having been offered a place second time around.

I have no doubts that the year I spent as an intern was invaluable, that the way in which that church grew me and loved me is extremely precious. And so, as I found myself sat in a very similar position five years later I couldn’t help but smile.

Here I am, graduating in the summer from a four year MA in Divinity. Once again I am faced with at least one year to fill and numerous possibilities. While things are now becoming a little clearer, I have been blessed again with that peace of God that transcends all circumstances. While others panic about life post-graduation, I have felt at ease knowing that God’s hand is over me. Above all, the thing that was most clear to me was the fact that sitting in that pew I knew that the opportunities granted me by the church family there were rare and precious. Now I see that people took a great risk in giving me the chance to step out, sometimes apprehensively, in my leadership. The way in which they allowed me to try new things and have a go at almost anything was incredible. And I still see it happening there. It is a church family that is so loving, forgiving and willing to allow others to grow. There is no need to be perfect, or get it right first time. We’re a family. Sure, we annoy one another sometimes, but above all we love to see each other shine and grow more into the person God has made them. And for that, I am eternally grateful. I will always look fondly on my church family who saw something in me even when I didn’t. 

And what have I learnt in those five years? Has anything changed now I’m at the next crossroads of my life? I know just how faithful God is and I am encouraged to see young women of God around me being encouraged in their leadership as I once was.

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